Stuck in the freefall
by Emily-at-random
Summary: I guess it really is true what they say You never know what you've got until it's gone. If only I'd heeded those words. He wouldn't be gone. And my heart woulsn't be shattered. Sad little one-shot. It's Amuto, I guess you could call it that. If it makes you feel better.


**It's three in the morning and I can't sleep.**

**Those issues... again.**

**So what else am I supposed to do?**

**Just stare at the dark ceiling for another hour?**

**Nuh uh, I don't think so.**

**So here's this random one-shot thing that I suddenly came up with, While I may or may not have been reading depressive things that involved Ikuto not earning Amu's love.**

**Psh, Like I'd read stuff of that content...**

**Onwards. Before I start crying.**

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**A/N: I don't ownnnnn Shugo charaaaaa. Nevahhhhhhh...**

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_I wanna know, I wanna know what you were thinking._

_Why you did this, why you didn't even see it._

_I guess you never know what'cha got til it's gone~_

_-TobyMac._

* * *

How did it happen this way?

I mean, this was Ikuto right.

An annoying pervert who always teased me, Never would show me his true emotions.

I had to adapt to understand him, Even then it was still so hard, so hard...

I just wanted to make him jealous.

Not see him shatter like glass, Maybe I went too far. It was a mistake.

Actually I hadn't meant to kiss Tadase.

Tadase kissed _me._ But still, I'm an idiot for initiating it, for responding.

Kami-sama! What do I do now?!

Ikuto's gone.

I regret everything Jesus, Just please bring him back to me!

I'm begging you!

Now matter how many times I put my heart into pleading, my tears seem nothingness to the almighty God from above I guess.

I can feel them, the hot tears dripping down my cheeks, presumably onto the pavement.

I feel dizzy, my head hurts, my heart hurts. everything just hurts!

Things weren't supposed to turn out this way.

I was supposed to confess my love, he was supposed to accept. It was my greatest wish.

Heh. I'm such a child. Believing in those fairy tales, after, I, with my own hands ripped them to shreds.

Glancing up I look around me, dull street light illuminate the sloshed sidewalks and barren trees.

The old carousel, the colored lights and that breaker, the one that finally stopped working altogether.

I'm tired of trying.

I rip my heart out only to mend it then break it again.

Because it's my fault, I'm reminding myself every time.

Slowly I reach out to those beloved teacups, does he remember that wonderful moment when all the worries just seemed to leave. That one night I caught a glimpse of the real you.

Not the emotionless hentai, Easter's puppet.

But the caring real you, who secretly thought of everyone. Even Tadase whom we all know hated your guts.

As my fingers lightly brush the edge of that special teacup, a spark of painful memory comes flowing back. It hurts.

_"Ikuto where are you going?"_

_The small pinkette's eyes went wide as she watched the blue haired neko boy in whom she had become fond, as he slung his precious violin in it's case over his shoulder and headed to the front door._

_He turned to her, gaze cold, somehow she stopped breathing._

_"Amu, stop playing with me. If you're going to start dating Tadase then just tell me."_

_Her eyes went wide as she gulped, trying to regain lost composure. "Why?"_

_He looked sad yet angry. "Because I want to know, I have to know what to do." He gave her a somber expression, like he didn't care._

_Being as dense as she was, Amu didn't realize Ikuto's true emotions._

_"And what if we are? What then?" His eyes attracted her attention, it was almost as if he was trying to find the real her. Under all that insecurity and fake emotion._

_"Please, just give me a straight answer." He stated blankly. She returned with a shrug, wanting to see how far he would go for her. "Probably."_

_Little did naive Amu know. Jealousy doesn't gain affection. It only drives people apart._

_Her words stung like knives to his soul._

_"I see. I'll take my leave then." His bangs covered his eyes as he opened the front door slowly._

_Ikuto was leaving! He was actually leaving! This wasn't supposed to happen!_

_Amu started panicking, her honeyed eyes filled with alarm. Desperately she flew to the doorstep just as he had begun walking down the cold street in the dead of night no less._

_"Wait! I was lying. Ikuto... I really do love you!" Her voice was shaky as she began to hyperventilate._

_Slowly his tall figure turned around, only then did she notice. The extreme hurt in his eye, pain, sadness and confusion._

_He felt as if he was being toyed with. One moment she loved him, the next moment she was off with Tadase._

_Seeing the look in his eyes. Pain and guilt ripped through Amu's heart. She hadn't meant to start this mess, she just wasn't sure how else to catch his attention._

_Her heart and entire being froze within themselves as she heard his next words._

_Broken and slightly above a whisper, a level of heartache unknown._

_"Don't mess with my heart, Amu."_

_Stunned, like a broken record skipping over and over again to the same scene._

_That sad melody._

_By the time Amu came to her senses. It was too late._

_Ikuto had disappeared._

_Just like her family._

_Amu couldn't take it anymore._

_She doubled over in pain as wracking sobs came from her chest._

_Each unsteady breath creating a fresh faucet of tears._

I guess it really is true what they say afterall.

You never know what you've got until it's gone.

If only I'd heeded those words.

He wouldn't be gone.

And my heart wouldn't be shattered.

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**I feel guilty writing this,**

**Yet utterly pleased.**

**What's wrong with writing at almost four in the morning to get rid of stress and negative emotions?**

**For any wise cracks out there,**

**The correct answer is nothing.**

**Please read and review.**

**I might make this a two-shot ans start adding unexpected stuff to it.**

**For no reason at all~**

**Ja ne.**


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